


At Times Like These

by Mireille



Category: Sports Night
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-05
Updated: 2004-07-05
Packaged: 2018-08-16 15:21:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8107516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mireille/pseuds/Mireille
Summary: Dan and Casey get there eventually.





	

It had not gone well.

That was what he'd say if Casey asked him how his first date with Rebecca--well, their first date since she came back from California--had gone. He'd blame Steve Sisco, of course, or at least let Casey think that was who they needed to blame, and then he'd let Casey talk him into going over to Anthony's after the show, and everything would be all right.

Except that his date with Rebecca really hadn't gone well. In fact, it had gone incredibly badly, even if he hadn't noticed it at first. He'd thought they'd just been talking, catching up on the past year or so, and then suddenly Rebecca was mentioning Steve in every other sentence.

He'd frowned at her. "You're sure you're divorced outside Rebecca-Land?"

"Do you want to see the divorce decree again?"

"No. I was just wondering why you were talking about him so much."

Rebecca shrugged a little, taking a sip of her wine before answering. "I thought that was what we were doing."

Dan frowned again. "You thought _what_ was what we were doing?"

"Talking about our exes until the other person wants to be hit by a bus just to make it stop."

He shook his head. "What exes? I haven't mentioned any of my exes...."

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "Casey? Remember him? Tall, blond, sits at that desk next to you every night?"

Now it was Dan's turn to sip his wine for a moment before he said anything. "I remember Casey. I just don't know what he has to do with this conversation."

"You've just been talking about him a lot."

"Like you said, he sits at that desk next to me every night. It'd be a little weird if I never talked about him once I left work."

She sighed. "It's a little weird listening to you talk about him so much as it is. I mean, knowing you still spend every day around him."

"Are we having the same conversation? Because if we are, you lost me somewhere. Why is that weird?" Then, suddenly, something clicked, and he set down his fork, just gaping at her. "You think... Casey? And me? And Casey?"

"Well, just the one Casey; it's a little tricky to have a threesome with just two people."

"You think Casey and I--" He shook his head. "You think we used to be together?"

There was a brief silence while Rebecca finished chewing a bite of her swordfish. "I'm not blind, Danny, and I'm not stupid."

"And I never said you were either of those things, but I've never--Casey and I haven't ever.... " He shrugged, wondering if she believed him. She'd managed to pull all of this out of thin air, after all, why should a little thing like the truth stop her?

"So you haven't told him you're in love with him?"

Dan's immediate response was to choke on a mouthful of pasta. Once he could breathe again, he stared at her for a moment, still not yet able to put words together. "Who says I'm in love with him?"

"The look of complete panic on your face, for one thing."

"That is not a look of panic. That's a look of _confusion_. I've been told they look similar on me."

"So you're confused."

"Yes." "About whether or not you're in love with Casey? Because I can clear that up for you: I've been listening to you all night, and you are."

"No, I'm confused about why you think I'm in love with him." Dan pushed his plate away; for some reason, he'd had less and less of an appetite the longer Rebecca kept talking.

"Because you are. It's obvious."

"I think we're back in Rebecca-Land," he said flatly. _You never should have gone back to Steve, Rebecca,_ he thought, _it obviously made you crazy._

She continued calmly eating her dinner--how she could be that calm, when she was obviously on the verge of a major psychotic break, he really didn't know. Maybe he should give her Abby's phone number; she was obviously going to need professional help in the near future, if it wasn't already too late. "I think you're in denial."

"Denial."

"Yes. You're denying that you're in love with Casey McCall."

"Keep your voice down!" he pleaded, looking around the restaurant and hoping, for once, that no one there had any idea who he was.

"It's the twenty-first century, Dan, you don't have to hide who you really are."

"Twentieth," he corrected.

"What?"

"It's the twentieth century. The twenty-first century starts next year."

"I thought that was the new millennium."

"It's both."

She frowned slightly. "Really?"

"Yes, really. There wasn't a year zero. The first century started with the year one. So the twenty-first century starts with the year 2001. It's surprising how many people don't know that."

"It's surprising how many people think you're trying to change the subject," she said, shaking her head.

"I'm trying to correct a common misconception, that's all. Consider it a public service."

"I'm considering it the action of a man who'd do anything to avoid having to admit that he's in love with his best friend," she said, reaching over to pat his hand. "I'd hoped you were over him by now, but obviously, you aren't. And that's okay, Danny, you just need to be honest with me. It isn't fair to me if you're not."

"You're right," Dan said, still frowning. "I'd do anything to avoid admitting that I'm in love with Casey--because it's not true."

"Danny--"

He shook his head, signaling for the waiter. "Could I have the check, please?" he asked when the man came over. He didn't look at Rebecca; he was too annoyed with her. Damn it, he'd thought something was finally going to go right for him, romantically speaking, and she turned out to be a nutjob like Bobbi Bernstein. Well, except that Bobbi had turned out to be not so much of a nutjob after all, and Rebecca definitely was.

"Danny, you don't have to go," she said. "You've barely touched your dinner, and we should probably talk about this some more...."

"No, we shouldn't," he said. "Unless you also want to talk about the latest Martian gossip and the weather in Atlantis--those are just as real as this crazy idea of yours." He gave the waiter his credit card before he finally turned back to her.

"I'm trying to be understanding. A lot of women wouldn't, you know."

"And I'd be grateful, if there was actually something for you to be understanding about. As it is, you've ruined a perfectly good date, and I can't see why I should be grateful to you for that." He signed the charge slip and put his wallet back into his pocket. "Look. Enjoy your dinner. I'll get a cab for you--"

"I can get my own cab," she said. "Besides, that would ruin your dramatic exit."

"Yeah. I guess you're right," he said, and walked out. He didn't really think about where he was going--if anyone had asked him, he'd have said he was going home, but it didn't surprise him when he saw the CSC building in front of him. Well, fine. There was some work he could be doing, and then, when he'd calmed down enough that he thought he'd be able to get to sleep, he'd go back to his apartment.

"She's insane," he said to himself when the elevator doors closed in front of him. "Casey's my partner. He's my best friend. Of course I talk about him. I talk about Dana and Natalie and Jeremy, too. And Isaac. Does that mean I'm in love with Isaac?"

"No, it does not," he answered himself. "And it doesn't mean I'm in love with Casey, either."

He went to his office--his office, not their office; he couldn't believe that Casey actually had an office of his own somewhere else in the building, and he sometimes wondered what else he'd failed to notice over the past three years--and lay down on the couch, trying to think of the right lead-in for the Big Ten football preview they were doing.

He wasn't worried about what Rebecca had said, not at all. No one who wasn't completely insane would believe her--and really, even Natalie and Dana, who _were_ completely insane, would think that was a bit far-fetched. So there was nothing to worry about.

And since he wasn't in love with Casey, there was _really_ nothing to worry about. Even if Rebecca told everyone she knew, it'd all die out quickly when people saw there was no truth to it.

It might have helped, he thought, covering his face with the legal pad he'd been scribbling notes on, if he and Casey hadn't had sex the other night, but there wasn't much he could do about that now.

***

They'd been in Dan's office--okay, their office; Dan didn't really want Casey to start spending his time in his own office, wherever it was--after the show. Everyone had gone over to Anthony's; it'd been a week, but they were still celebrating the continued existence of "Sports Night." Which was, Dan had to admit, something to celebrate.

But Dan had wanted to send Rebecca a quick e-mail, and so he'd gone back to his office, and Casey had followed him for reasons known only to Casey.

Dan had just clicked "send" when Casey finally said something. "You were really going to take that job in L.A.?"

He looked up at Casey. "Well, yeah. It was a great job. I'd have been stupid not to go. And I'd have been working with Dana, and she'd probably have brought Natalie and Jeremy along...."

Casey nodded. "Yeah. Great job. You're right. It would have been just like 'Sports Night.'"

"Not quite," Dan said quietly.

"It'd be just like 'Sports Night' if we had Laker Girls," Casey corrected himself.

"It'd be just like 'Sports Night' except for the part where you weren't there."

Casey shrugged. "So you don't have to deal with my ego. That can't be bad."

"Casey--" Dan sighed. "I thought we'd settled that."

"Yeah. I thought we had too."

"But?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. You were going to go out there without me, and--"

"You said I should go!"

"And I was right. You _should_ have gone. Maybe you still should." Casey was quiet for at least fifteen seconds before adding, "That doesn't mean I wanted you to."

"And it didn't mean I wanted to go without you, but you couldn't leave Charlie, and I understood that." At least, the sensible, grown-up part of him had understood that. Casey couldn't live across the country from his son, and he couldn't uproot Charlie like that, so Casey wouldn't be leaving New York. Not now, and probably not until Charlie was in college.

The less sensible, less grown up, part of him really envied Charlie--partly for having a father who'd do that for him, but mostly for getting to keep Casey when Dan was going to have to leave him to go to L.A.

Casey seemed to be thinking for a while, and then nodded. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, huh, Danny?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"You know, someone said something about times like these...." Casey said, halfway under his breath.

"Times like what?"

"Bad times. Desperate times."

"These aren't desperate times, Casey, the show's still on, remember?"

"Desperate times," Casey said firmly. "Also the times immediately after desperate times. You know what they said about times like these?"

Very seriously, Dan said, "No, Casey, I have no idea what you're talking about at all."

"Is this a new experience for you?"

"I'd have to say it isn't."

"Then go with the flow, Danny." Casey shook his head. "Anyway, times like these are when people come together and--"

"That was _me_ ," Dan interrupted. "That was what I said to Kim the other night."

"Exactly."

Dan frowned. "I was trying to get Kim to go home with me, Casey, I wasn't making a profound philosophical statement."

"I know."

Dan waited a minute, in case Casey started making sense in the interim. He didn't, and Dan wondered if he'd make more sense, or less, if they went to Anthony's and started drinking. "Then why did you mention it?" he said, finally, giving up on the whole Casey-making-sense-tonight idea as some sort of pipe dream. He stood up, reaching for his coat. "Come on, they're all waiting for us."

Casey just looked at him for a little while, not saying much of anything. Then he said, quietly, "It's at times like these, Danny...." Then, to Dan's complete and utter shock, Casey leaned forward and kissed him. Not a quick peck, either, but a real kiss, slow and deep and enough to literally rock Dan back on his heels for a second.

"Casey--"

"Don't talk. You'll ruin it."

"Yeah, but we should--"

"Talk later," Casey insisted. "Right now...." He trailed off, giving Dan another searching look. "Yes?"

Dan didn't have to ask him what the question was; his meaning was perfectly clear. And after what felt like an hour of silence to him, and must have seemed even longer to Casey, he nodded. "God, yes, Casey." He hadn't had to think about his answer, not really; it was Casey, and that made the decision easy.

"Yes," he repeated, and then Casey kissed him again. And god, Casey could kiss, Dan thought, and he could have done this forever, until he realized that they were in their office, which wasn't exactly private. If someone had forgotten something, or Jeremy got into another argument about baseball statistics with another porn star, they'd get caught, and while he'd always _heard_ that there was no such thing as bad publicity, Dan wasn't sure he wanted to find that out firsthand.

Casey must have been having the same thought, because he took a half-step back from Dan. "We can't do this here," he said.

Reluctantly, Dan nodded.

"My place is closer." "Huh?"

"My place. If you still want...."

They started for the door almost simultaneously.

The trip to Casey's seemed to last forever; Dan was afraid to look at Casey for too long, to touch him even casually, both out of the fear that they'd be too obvious and because he wasn't quite sure he could look at Casey right then and still be willing to wait to get to Casey's apartment; he felt like he'd been waiting for this forever, even though he hadn't thought about this before. Not while conscious, at least.

But finally, Casey was opening the door to his apartment, and they were stumbling inside. "Alone at last," Dan said as Casey locked the door behind them.

Casey's grin was difficult to miss, even in semi-darkness. "Excellent." He led Dan over to the couch before kissing him again.

Dan suspected--no, scratch that, Dan was absolutely certain--that he was going to regret this in the morning, or possibly even sooner. But Casey's mouth was on his, and one of Casey's denim-clad thighs was pressed against him in exactly the right way to make him nearly lose his sanity every time Casey moved, and if he _didn't_ do this, he was going to regret it even more.

_Besides_ , he thought, _it'll give me something new to talk about in therapy_.

He lowered himself onto the couch, pulling Casey down after him, until he was lying on his back, with Casey mostly on top of him, still kissing him as though he'd never heard of anything as silly as actually needing oxygen.

After a few more frantic kisses, Dan murmured, "What do you... does either of us know what he's doing?"

Casey lifted his head to grin at him. "Doesn't it look like I know what I'm doing?"

"Kissing's easy. I mean, kissing me's not any different than kissing Pixley, or Lisa, or--"

"Kissing you is completely different than kissing Lisa. You, I'm not worried about knifing me in the back while I'm doing it."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah," he admitted finally. "I do, but... Okay, unless you know what you're doing, neither of us does. Not really. I mean--you know how long I was with Lisa. It's not like I had a lot of opportunity to get experience."

Dan nodded. "I hate to break it to you, but you know as much as I do. I have been sadly limited by my previously unwavering heterosexuality."

Casey slid his hand up Dan's leg, pressing his palm against his groin. "It seems to be wavering now."

"It seems to have gone on vacation to Florida."

"I don't think you'll be needing it tonight, anyway."

Dan shook his head, grinning. "It'd just get in the way." He raised his hips a little, without thinking about it, pressing against Casey's hand a bit more.

"It's gonna be okay," Casey said, and Dan nodded.

"Of course it's gonna be okay, it's not brain surgery," he said.

"We can make it up as we go along." Casey squeezed him then, very lightly, and Dan bit his lip. "You all right?" Casey asked, frowning a bit.

"Yes." That didn't seem like enough encouragement for Casey, so Dan added, "God, yes," and put his hand over Casey's, squeezing again.

"Like that, huh?" Casey grinned and did it a third time, before he sat up, his back resting against the arm of the couch. "Come here," he said. Dan leaned forward, and Casey kissed him before shaking his head. "Not like that. Lean back against me."

"What for?" Dan asked, as he got up from the couch so that he could turn to face the other way.

"You'll see," Casey said, pulling Dan closer so that his back was resting against Casey's chest. Casey bent down to kiss Dan's neck, and Dan shivered a bit.

"Casey...."

"You'll like it. I promise," Casey said, before reaching down to unbutton, then unzip, Dan's jeans. "Back to basics," he whispered, slipping his hand inside Dan's boxers to very lightly stroke Dan's cock. "I figure this, I can't screw up...."

"No. God, no, Casey, you're not screwing this up." Dan wondered, absently, whether Casey was talking about being bad in bed due to their mutual lack of experience, or whether there was another, larger "this" to screw up. Then he decided that wondering about that when Casey had just wrapped his hand around his cock and started jerking him off was not an effective use of his mental capacity, and started paying more attention to what Casey was doing to him.

Casey grinned, moving his hand a little faster, and kissed Dan's neck again. "Tell me if you want me to do something different...."

Dan shook his head. "I'm good." His voice broke on the last word as Casey's thumb rubbed over the head of his cock, and Casey chuckled.

"Yeah, you sound good," he said. Then, leaning forward so that his breath tickled Dan's ear, he murmured, "Sound really good." He shifted position, and Dan could feel Casey's cock pressing against him. He whimpered, just a bit, and Casey slid forward, pressing himself harder against Dan's ass. "You're turning me on, Danny," he added, unnecessarily--but then again, Casey frequently said things no one needed him to, why should this be any different? And he didn't stop what he was doing, and he kept pressing himself against Dan, his breathing harsh and rapid in Dan's ear, and Dan really couldn't complain about any of this, at all.

And then he bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from groaning as he came in Casey's hand. Casey kept stroking him until Dan collapsed against the couch, leaning his head back so that he could kiss Casey.

After a few lazy kisses, Casey grinned. "Hand me something to clean my hand off with, or I'm going to use your shirt."

Dan grinned back at him. "It's your shirt, anyway," he pointed out. He'd managed to spill coffee down the front of the shirt he'd been wearing a few days ago, and Casey had just picked up his clothes at the cleaners; he'd lent Dan a shirt, and Dan had forgottenten to give it back.

"You're the one who's going to be wearing it in public, though."

"You win." Dan sat up, reaching for the box of Kleenex on the end table and handing it to Casey.

Casey took it gratefully and began to clean himself off. Dan just sat there, looking at him, still trying to get his mind wrapped around the concept that he and Casey had just-- were just....

"Danny," Casey said, setting the crumpled tissue aside, "you're not about to get weird on me, are you?"

Dan frowned. "Define 'weird.'"

"Staring at me like I just grew an extra head is a good start," he said. "Look, if you're not okay with this, we'll just... we'll say it didn't happen. No harm, no foul, right?"

He shook his head. "I'm okay."

"Okay as in okay, or okay as in you're already planning out how to explain this to Abby?"

Dan leaned over and kissed him again. "Okay as in--" He paused for a second, and then grinned. "Okay as in, you seem to have a problem here, Mr. McCall." At that, he rested his hand on the bulge in Casey's jeans. "Want me to help you with that?"

Casey nodded. "Yes. Most definitely yes."

Dan grinned at him. "Okay, then." He looked at Casey for another long moment and then nodded to himself. If he was going to do this, he might as well do it right--he'd already lost major Straight Points, after all, there was no point getting fussy about the details.

Dan slid from the couch down onto the floor, pushing Casey's legs apart to kneel between them. Casey looked down at him, wide-eyed, as Dan began to tug at his zipper. "You don't have to...."

He nodded. "I know I don't have to. I don't think there's any rule anywhere that would make me _have_ to do this. I just. I want to."

"I'd have to be a lot dumber than I am to stop you, then," Casey said.

"Don't underestimate yourself," Dan said, grinning, as he got Casey's fly open. "Tell me if I'm doing something wrong, okay?" he asked, suddenly a bit nervous at the sight of Casey's erection, clearly outlined by the fabric of his boxers.

"Talking. Talking's bad, Danny, it takes time away from--oh, _god_ ," Casey said, his complaints dissolving into incoherence as Dan found his courage, lowering his head to mouth Casey's cock through his boxers.

All right, Dan thought, this was fine. He could do this, no problem. He could-- And then Casey groaned, low enough that Dan felt it rather than heard it, and Dan couldn't get Casey's boxers out of the way fast enough.

He lowered his head, breathing in Casey's musky scent, and hesitantly planted wet kisses along the shaft of Casey's cock. Casey moaned again, grabbing hold of Dan's shoulders. Dan got a little bolder, beginning to lick him, swirling his tongue around the head, and then doing it again when Casey's fingers dug into his shoulders.

This was definitely not what he'd have expected--if he'd ever really thought about it--not at all. He'd been lying to Casey when he said he'd never done anything like this before, although he thought that drunken fumblings with his college roommate's physics lab partner probably didn't really count. It certainly hadn't been anything like this, where every little gasp and movement from Casey just made him want more, made him want to see exactly what he'd look like when Dan made him come.

He took Casey into his mouth, sucking experimentally, pressing his tongue against Casey's cock and noticing which spots made Casey whimper. He hadn't expected to enjoy this, except in the sense that he wanted to make Casey feel good, but he could feel himself beginning to get hard again.

He wrapped his hand around the base of Casey's cock, trying to get his mouth and hand working in the same rhythm. "Oh, god, please..." Casey murmured, and Dan grinned to himself.

Dan knew that this was probably the least skilled blow job in the history of sex, but Casey didn't seem to mind. After a little while, Casey's fingers tightened even further on Dan's shoulders.

"Danny, I'm gonna--"

Dan momentarily considered staying where he was, but then decided that choking probably wouldn't make a very good impression. He pulled his head away, finishing Casey off with his hand, and looking up, utterly transfixed by the way Casey tilted his head back, exposing his throat, and bit his lip as he came. He knelt there watching Casey, in fact, until he realized that Casey had recovered, caught his breath, and was now looking down at him like... well, like _he'd_ been the one to grow an extra head. "What?"

"You were giving me a weird look again. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"What did I say when you asked me that before?"

"That you're okay with it."

"And what does it mean when I say I'm okay with something?"

Casey grinned. "It means you're okay with it."

"It means I'm okay with it," he echoed.

"Or you're lying," Casey said, still grinning, "just to make me shut up about it."

"There is always that possibility," Dan admitted. "But you'll never know, so let's go with 'Dan's okay.'"

"Then what was that weird look about?"

Dan shrugged. "I was just looking at you, Casey, it's no big deal."

After a moment or two, Casey nodded. "Yeah, all right, if you say so." He handed Dan a couple of Kleenex from the box before cleaning himself up and zipping up his jeans again.

"Are _you_ okay with this?"

"It was my idea, wasn't it?" Casey said. "Come on, they'll be worried about us if we don't show up soon."

And so they got themselves back in order and went over to Anthony's, and it wasn't until Dan's alarm clock went off in the morning that he realized that Casey really hadn't answered the question.

***

Dan hadn't really worked out what he was going to say to Casey the next day, but he thought it'd be all right. Casey was okay with what had happened; he'd said so himself, so it was going to be just fine. Everything would work out.

Then Casey was a little late getting to the office, and when he did get there, he looked as though he hadn't slept at all. "You okay?" Dan asked him, and Casey shrugged.

"Yeah. Can we--can I talk to you for a minute, Danny?"

When Dan nodded, Casey closed the door of their office. "It's about--uh, what happened. Last night."

"And here I was thinking it was about the Cubs' chance at the pennant this year." Dan sighed. "Yeah, I was figuring that."

"Yeah. Uh. I. well, I have some concerns."

Dan stared at him for a second. "Oh, no. No, Casey. You don't get to have concerns now. The time for you to have concerns was last night, one of the four hundred times I asked you if you were okay with this. This is not the time."

"And yet, this is the time when I'm having them." Casey sank down on the couch, burying his face in his hands for a moment. "Hear me out, Danny, okay?"

Dan sighed, beginning to link paper clips together in a chain to give him something to look at besides Casey. "What concerns?"

"Concerns like Charlie. And Lisa. And the show. And suddenly being on the cover of _Sports Illustrated_ as half of the Unambiguously Gay Duo. And--" He looked at Dan for a very long time before shaking his head silently.

"And what?"

"And that's the kind of concerns I'm having."

"So what did you think I was going to do, Casey, tell everyone?"

"Stuff gets out. You know it does. No matter how careful we are--and someone could have seen me kissing you last night; it could already be too late--stuff gets out, and then we'd be screwed."

"And you couldn't think about that last night."

"I couldn't think about anything last night," Casey admitted.

"Except telling me repeatedly how very okay with all of this you are."

Scowling, Casey said, "I _am_ okay with it!" Then, a little more quietly, he added, "It just. It can't happen again, Danny, that's all."

"At the moment that's not something you're going to have to worry about," Dan snapped. "It won't happen again."

"Good," Casey said quietly, and the look of relief in his eyes rocked Dan back on his heels, the same way that Casey's kisses had done the night before--only not nearly as pleasant.

"Good," Dan echoed, even more quietly than Casey. "Nothing to worry about, then."

Casey nodded. Neither of them said anything for a moment, and then Casey said, "This isn't going to--we're still friends, right? Because if I've managed to screw that up again...."

Dan couldn't look up at him, didn't really want to look up at him. He didn't want to say anything, either--what he'd really like, he thought, was to go out on location to do a nice long series of features on ice fishing in Siberia, or dog fighting in Gabon, or anything that would take him thousands of miles from Casey for a while.

But Casey just stood there, obviously waiting for an answer, and so Dan mumbled, "Of course we are, don't worry about it. It was just one of those things, you know?" And it had been. Just one of those things that knocked Dan's whole precarious sense of equilibrium for a loop, granted, but still, just one of those things. And Casey didn't hate him, and he didn't hate Casey, and that was the important part.

"Yeah," Casey said, and now he sounded even more relieved. "Things like that happen at times like these. We said so ourselves last night."

"Desperate times," Dan said to himself, almost whispering.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Come on, we're going to be late for the noon rundown."

***

"So how was it?" Casey asked. Dan had been typing away, supposedly working on today's script, since Casey came in. He hadn't looked up, hoping that if he didn't make eye contact, Casey wouldn't ask him about this.

"How was what?" Dan asked, after a while.

"Having short-term memory problems? Your date with the girl of your dreams. The former Mrs. Steve Sisco. _Rebecca_ ," he added impatiently, when Dan still didn't respond.

"Oh, that," Dan said, tapping away at the keyboard for a while longer. He hoped Casey didn't come around to see what he'd written, because he didn't think he'd be able to convince him that any sentence starting with "The quick red fox" was relevant to _Sports Night_. Unless maybe he could say that Jeremy wanted to cover some obscure British fox-hunting story; that'd be almost plausible, except that Jeremy wasn't going on and on about it like he had about that Chinese swimmer or whoever that cricket player had been who'd done whatever that was.

"Yeah, that. How was it? Did you make her breakfast?"

"No, I didn't make her breakfast."

"You should have. Women like it when you make them breakfast. They think it's sexy. There's this thing you can make with a hollowed-out grapefruit...."

"From home ec, yeah, I know. But even if I had made her breakfast, she wouldn't have been there to eat it." He wondered if the hollowed-out grapefruit would have worked with Casey, and then remembered that he didn't care.

"She wouldn't?"

Dan shook his head. "It did not go well."

Casey groaned. "She's still hung up on Sisco?"

"Um. Yeah. Something like that."

"I thought they were divorced."

"They are." Dan shrugged. "Besides, she thinks the year 2000 is part of the twenty-first century. We had no future."

"You'd dump a woman because of that?"

"She doesn't know how a calendar works, Casey, what am I supposed to think? We get married, we have kids, and all of a sudden I realize that my children are growing up not knowing what century they live in."

"Whoa there, Danny, nobody's talking about you marrying her. It was a date."

"Yes. And if it had gone well, there'd be another date, and another, and then we'd be Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Rydell, and my kids would be idiots."

Casey frowned at him. "What's going on, Danny? You're crazy about Rebecca. You bought her an abacus, for god's sake." He grinned. "Never mind. Maybe that just means you're crazy."

Dan gave him a weak smile. "Yeah. I'll have to ask Abby about that."

"Aw, Danny, that's not what I meant."

"I know." He smiled again, still just slightly.

"But anyway. Rebecca. What happened?"

Dan shook his head. "It just... the window of opportunity has been nailed shut, that's all. She's got this completely mistaken idea of who I am, and what I want, and... can we just not talk about it?"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry."

"It's all right." Dan went back to typing, this time actually something that might, if you didn't have particularly high standards, even qualify for sports reporting.

After a few minutes, Casey said, "It wasn't really about her not knowing when the twenty-first century started, was it?"

"No."

"Then what was it, really?"

"This is not 'not talking about it,' Casey. In fact, by some definitions, this would be called 'talking about it.'" Dan sighed. "And I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't think you need to?"

"No!" And if he did, it would definitely not be with Casey. Talking to Casey about what had gone wrong on his date with Rebecca would be the most idiotic thing he could think of to do.

So, of course, he knew he might as well just resign himself to the fact that it was going to happen eventually.

"Come on, Danny. You really liked this girl. You were thrilled when she came back from California. What happened between--" Casey trailed off, suddenly, giving Dan a strange look.

"Whatever you're thinking, that's not it."

"How can you say that? You don't even know what I'm thinking."

"I don't have to know what you're thinking. The specifics aren't important. What's important is that whatever it is that you're thinking, it's wrong. You're wrong, Casey, _that's not it._ "

"It's about the other night, isn't it?" Casey said, quietly. "You don't have to worry, Danny, I'm not going to tell her."

With a short, harsh laugh, Dan said, "Believe me, I know you're not going to tell her. Or anyone. You're the one who freaked out that someone was going to find out, or have you conveniently forgotten that?"

Casey shook his head. "I haven't forgotten."

"And if anyone had seen us, everyone at _Sports Night_ would be talking about it by now, so no one else knows but us. You're not going to tell her. I'm not going to tell her. So I'm not worried about her finding out."

"But it is about the other night."

Dan shook his head. It wasn't. It had nothing to do with the other night, it had to do with Rebecca Wells being a complete lunatic, and the fact that she'd accused him of being in love with Casey McCall shortly after he'd thought, for a few brief hours, that he might possibly be in love with Casey McCall was complete and total coincidence. Period, paragraph, end of statement. "It's a coincidence," he repeated to himself.

And, apparently, to Casey, who gave him a strange look. "What's a coincidence?"

"That Rebecca would go all insane on me right after the thing that you're claiming she jumped to conclusions about happened."

"She went insane on you? Really? Like Bobbi Bernstein insane?"

He nodded. "Definitely Bobbi Bernstein insane."

"Man, what do you _do_ to perfectly good--wait a minute. Bobbi wasn't actually insane after all, you really did sleep with her and never call. Does that mean Rebecca's not insane at all?"

"No, it means that Rebecca's as crazy as we thought Bobbi was before I found out she wasn't."

"You have a real gift with women, my friend."

Dan grinned. "You'd better hope I'm not your Secret Santa this year, because if I am, guess what you're finding under the tree?"

"Oh, no. No giving away crap we don't want, that's a rule." Casey grinned back, and Dan felt the tension start to ebb.

"For you, we could make an exception. I could talk Isaac into it; he likes me better than you anyway."

Casey just laughed, and shook his head, and that was all that was said for a few minutes, as Dan went back to doing actual work, and Casey started writing something on his legal pad.

Then, after a while, Casey said, quietly, "I'm sorry about Rebecca. I know you really liked her."

"Yeah," Dan said. "I did. But stuff doesn't always work out." "Sometimes it does."

"And most of the time it doesn't. I'll be okay," he added, and Casey nodded.

"I know you will, Danny."

He wondered if Casey had some sort of previously unevidenced psychic ability, because he, personally, wasn't quite so sure.

***

Technically, of course, Dan knew that if there was anyone to whom you ought to be able to confess that you had sex with your best friend, who promptly decided to pretend it never happened, _and_ that your sort-of girlfriend sort-of left you because she thought you were in love with said best friend, and even that you thought she might be--not right, but somewhere closer to "right" than "wrong" on the correctness continuum--it would be your therapist.

He wasn't sure where in that tangle of thoughts it worked out that telling Abby would be a complete and utter disaster, but somehow, he was convinced that it would.

He did it anyway.

The first thing she said after listening to the whole story, which took fifteen minutes of his fifty, which he thought was pretty ridiculous and not at all cost-effective--he should've just e-mailed it to her, maybe--was, "Do you know, that's the first time you've ever told me something without me having to drag it out of you?"

Dan shrugged. "It makes a good story. I like telling stories."

"It's also the first time you've gone fifteen minutes without trying to flirt with me."

"I guess I was kind of caught up in what I was saying."

She nodded.

"Are you going to tell me what to think about the whole thing?"

Abby grinned. "Ah, come on, Dan, you know I never make it that easy for you. What do you think about it?"

"I think Rebecca jumped to conclusions. I always talk about Casey. What happened, it didn't change that."

She nodded again, thoughtfully. "So is there a possibility that you've always been in love with Casey?"

"I'm not in love with Casey!"

"You said you thought you were."

"Might be. I said I _might_ be. There's a significant difference there, you know that."

"Maybe before you do anything else, you ought to figure out whether you are or not."

He shook his head. "It's not that easy."

"Sure it is, Danny. Don't analyze, don't come up with what you think I want to hear, just answer the question: Are you in love with Casey?"

He shook his head. "This is ridiculous. What's that supposed to--"

"Are you in love with Casey?" she repeated, completely ignoring him.

Dan got to his feet, not looking at her. "I have to go," he said. "I have a, a... I have this thing I have to go to."

"A thing." "Yeah. I have this thing I have to do."

She sighed. "All right, Dan. Go to your 'thing.'" Then she shook her head. "You're going to need to figure out what you think about all of this before you talk to Casey about it."

Dan laughed, or coughed, or choked--even he wasn't sure which. "Who says I'm going to do that?"

***

Rebecca called him a couple of times in the next week or so--she apologized, repeatedly, and blamed jealousy for making her jump to conclusions. It would have been easy enough to forgive her.

He _did_ forgive her, mostly, or at least he stopped being angry at her. It had been a bad date. He'd had those before, and unless he became a monk, he'd have another one soon enough. The words "bad" and "date" just naturally went together, in his experience.

He didn't quite forgive her, though, because he couldn't quite put the idea of being in love with Casey out of his head, and that was something he could never forgive her, or Abby, or Casey, or himself for. Never.

Casey didn't seem to know there was anything going on, and Dan was grateful for it; their friendship went on much the same as it always had, and Dan didn't have to worry that Casey was going to guess what was going on inside his head. Casey didn't seem to notice there _was_ anything going on inside Dan's head.

And after a few more weeks went by, not even Dan really paid attention to it any more. It was just there--"like the way Sam's there, only not nearly as bad," he thought, and then remembered that he was in therapy now mostly because of Sam, and because he'd just not paid any attention to his thoughts about Sam until they threatened to break him just to get the time they deserved.

So not like that, because this, he could ignore forever. He could just go on working with Casey forever, without ever having to think about how he was in love with Casey, or how Casey wasn't in love with him.

But when a station in Minneapolis (or maybe it was St. Paul; Dan had a tendency to forget which was which) called him to ask him if he'd be willing to talk to them about doing a local sports show for them, instead of telling them that was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard, he took a couple of the vacation days he was owed and almost never took, got on a plane, and went, without telling anyone why.

When he got back to New York, Dana ambushed him before he even had the chance to go claim his suitcase.

"Were you planning to mention this to me?" she said. "Or to Isaac?"

"How did you even know this was my flight?"

"You're a moron," she said, more cheerfully than Dan thought that justified. "You wrote down your flight information in the phone book from your desk. Which I borrowed because someone keeps stealing mine."

"I think that one _is_ yours, actually."

"So someone does keep stealing it: you." She frowned at him. "Were you going to tell us?"

Dan sighed, shaking his head. "It was nothing. I didn't want to do the show, I knew I didn't want to do the show, I just thought it'd be a good idea for me to talk to them. Just in case."

"The show's safe, Dan, Quo Vadimus is convinced it can make money off of us. And not by hitting us up for spare change because they left their wallets in their other pants." She was still frowning at him. "There's no reason to be looking for another job."

"No, there's not. Not right now. But there might be," he said. If he couldn't handle working with Casey--if Casey decided he couldn't cope with working with Dan any more, after what happened....

Dana looked at him thoughtfully. "You and Casey aren't fighting again, are you? I thought you got all that settled."

"No. We're not fighting. It's--everything's fine, Dana, I just figured it wouldn't hurt for Quo Vadimus to know that I'm in demand."

"So how come you didn't tell Casey about the interview?"

He shrugged. "I don't tell Casey everything."

"Yeah. I know." She didn't say anything else right away; Dan slung his carry-on bag over his shoulder and started walking toward baggage claim, with Dana following just a step or so behind him. Then, when he stopped, trying to spot his suitcase, she said, quietly, "How long has it been going on?"

"Huh?"

"Rebecca apparently thought she ought to talk to me. She didn't know that Casey and I aren't-- that we decided it wouldn't work." Dana looked down, and Dan sighed. The thing with Dana and Casey had been messy and complicated and Dan didn't think it'd ever be over, not really, which made reason number about a million why he was stupid.

Dan scowled. "Rebecca doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Yeah, I know, but--" Dana closed her eyes for a moment, and her voice sounded hollow when she said, "I saw you, Dan. You and Casey, in your office, one night when we were all at Anthony's. I--I needed to get something from my office, and I came back, and I saw Casey kiss you."

Damn it. _Damn_ it. One time, one kiss, and they'd tried to be careful, and they'd _still_ been caught. He thought about denying it, but she'd _seen_ them, and that made it hard to deny. "Did you. Have you told anyone?" Casey was going to go insane, Casey was going to hate him, and maybe he should call those people in Saint Paul-or-was-it-Minneapolis and tell them he'd reconsidered that job, after all, because anchoring a stupid, doomed, local sports show was better than having to sit there every night with Casey hating him.

Dana shook her head. "In the office, Dan. Anyone could have... do you know what this could do to your careers if it gets out? What it could do to the show?"

"It won't get out, Dana. Not if you don't tell anyone."

"I found out. Someone else could." _Especially if you're that stupid again_ , he could almost hear her thinking.

"There's nothing to find out. It was just that one time, Dana, it never happened again. It's never going to happen again."

"And that's why you went on this interview?"

"No. I went on the interview because it's good to do that. To make sure Quo Vadimus knows there are other people interested."

"Danny, it's local television. In Minnesota. That doesn't count."

"It doesn't?"

"No."

He shrugged. "My mistake."

"Yeah."

"Does Casey know where I was?"

"No. You should tell him, though."

"No, I shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"He'd just ask why I went, and then I'd have someone else explaining to me that it's local television in Minnesota, and do you know how much I hate having people tell me I'm wrong?"

She smiled. "You should get used to it; it happens a lot." Then, after a moment, she added, "Or you could try telling him why you really went."

"That is why I went. To strengthen my bargaining position with our new owners. My agent would approve."

"Your agent's an idiot, then. It's Minnesota. No one cares."

"They care in Minnesota."

"It gets down to a million below zero in Minnesota, their brains are frozen, and you really should tell Casey why you went on that interview."

"No, I really shouldn't."

"Don't do this." "Do what?"

"Don't play games with Casey and screw things up." She gave him a tight smile. "Trust me on this one, it's not worth it."

"I'm not playing games!" he snapped.

"We can call it running away, if you like the sound of that better."

"We can call it accepting defeat like a man. Giving up gracefully. Not making a spectacle of myself."

"No, I think 'running away' is better. It's shorter, for one thing. You're too long-winded, Danny, you always are."

"If I were running away, would I be here?"

"You tell me." She shook her head. "Better yet, tell Casey."

"There's nothing to tell, and there's nothing to screw up, and Dana, I know it's probably useless to tell you this, but I'd really like to just drop it. I appreciate you coming to get me from the airport, but I'm not in the mood for a lecture on how to handle Casey." He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Where's the car?"

Dana shrugged. "Who says I'm giving you a ride?"

"Dana--"

"I'm joking, all right? Did you leave your sense of humor in Minneapolis?"

_No_ , Dan thought, _on Casey's couch._

***

"Minneapolis, Danny?"

Dan looked up at Casey. "I'm killing Dana."

"She didn't tell me. Natalie did." Casey leaned back in his chair, stretching a little.

"Then I'm killing Natalie. And Dana, because she told Natalie."

"No, Jeremy did, and you can't kill the entire office. Minneapolis?"

"Strengthening my position with Quo Vadimus next time contract negotiations are--" He shook his head. "My agent thinks--" Again, he stopped. "Desperate times, Casey," he said finally.

"The show's solid, Danny, ratings are up and Isaac says Trager's happy about--"

Dan swallowed hard. "Not for the show. Just for me."

There was a very, very long pause while Casey just looked at him. Then, softly, he said, "I thought Abby was helping."

He blinked. "What? She is. This is... this is different. Mostly."

"Okay." Casey didn't ask what it _was_ about, Dan noticed, and wondered if that was because he already knew, or because he just didn't care. "Are you going?"

"To Minneapolis?"

"Yeah." Casey sounded just a little impatient, and Dan winced.

_Damn it, Casey, I'm trying._ "No. I never really intended to. Unless they promised to make me a god, or something." He smiled, very faintly. "I was just... testing the waters."

"Natalie said she thinks you're running away."

Dan shrugged. "She got that from Dana." He wondered what else she'd heard from Dana, but since the entire crew didn't seem to be talking about it, Dana must not have shared everything she knew. That had to be a first, he thought, but he wasn't complaining.

"What are you running away from?"

"Here's what I don't get," Dan said. "I'm here. I've just told you I'm staying here. How does that count as running away?"

Casey actually laughed, which Dan chose to take as a good sign. "Ask Natalie, it's her theory."

"I asked Dana." "What did she say?"

Dan took a deep breath. "She said she saw us." When Casey looked more confused than concerned, he elaborated. "That night. In here. She saw us."

"She told you that?"

"Yeah."

"Just out of the blue." His tone of voice made it clear that he wasn't sure if he should believe that, and Dan really didn't blame him. Then again, he thought, Dana had said weirder things than that, and with less reason.

"Not quite. First she told me that Rebecca's been trying to spread the crazy to Sports Night."

"What does Rebecca have to do with this?"

"Ah. Now here's where you're going to laugh, my friend. Remember that date I had with Rebecca?"

"The one that didn't go well?"

"The one that redefined 'not going well' for the new millennium, yes."

"Except she doesn't know when the new millennium starts."

"So you do remember it."

"Yeah. I remember."

Dan took a deep breath. "She got mad at me because she thought I shouldn't be dating her when I was in--" No. He wasn't going to go there. If he kept this on a purely physical level, Casey might not freak out on him, and he could get through this conversation without having to find a window that could be opened so he could throw himself out of it. "Interested in someone else."

Casey grinned. "Stringing along two women at once? You dog."

"Yeah. I'm a real _el perro fumando_ ," Dan muttered.

"You're a smoking dog?"

"Something like that." He shrugged. "She meant you, Casey."

"She--you told Rebecca?" Casey spluttered, scowling at Dan. "You said you wouldn't--"

"No!" Dan shook his head quickly. "This all came straight out of left field. I don't know where she got it from."

"And she told Dana?"

"Since that was after Dana had seen us, I don't think it came as much of a surprise," Dan pointed out. "I mean, Rebecca's still absolutely wrong, because like you said, that was just one of those things. But Dana had no way of knowing that."

"And Dana chose to bring this up now, as opposed to when it happened... why?"

"She thinks that's why I went to Minneapolis," he admitted.

"She thinks you went to Minneapolis because you and I are together." Casey's brow furrowed. "That's nuts. Even for Dana, that's nuts, and that's saying something."

"She thinks I'm running away from you," Dan corrected him. "Because of what happened."

"Because you didn't like it or because you did?" Casey asked.

"No idea. She didn't explain, just said I was running away."

"Ah." He crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it across the room into the trashcan. "Three points. Not bad for a Monday." Then, just when Dan had started to think the conversation was over, he said, "Are you?"

Dan sat there for a moment, thinking. "I don't think so," he said finally.

"You don't think so."

"That's right."

"But you don't know. You went on an interview in Minneapolis, for god's sake, and you don't know why?"

"...No."

"This is about what happened, right?"

He frowned. "Sort of. Not exactly."

Casey's face suddenly seemed to close off, and he didn't meet Dan's eyes. "See, I knew this would happen," he muttered.

"Knew what would happen?" "Never mind. It's not important," he said, still not looking at Dan.

"You knew _what_ would happen, Casey?" Dan repeated.

"I said never mind!" Casey said. He got up, stalking out of the office.

Dan just sat there for a moment. Then, finally, he got up as well, grabbing his jacket. With any luck, Abby would be able to fit him in for a session today.

Not that he had any idea what he was going to say, of course.

***

"You weren't at the rundown meeting," Casey said accusingly when Dan got back to the office.

"Yeah, I know. I talked to Dana about it. It's okay."

"You didn't talk to me, though."

Dan stared at him for a minute. "If this is about to be another round of 'don't ruin _my_ show, Danny,' then I'm just not in the mood."

Casey flinched visibly. "I thought we were past that."

"So did I," he muttered.

Shaking his head, Casey said, "I was worried about what happened to you, that's all. You were here, and then you weren't."

With a quiet snort of disbelief, Dan said, "And you'd just stormed out of the office, so why would I have thought you'd want to know where I was going?"

"I always want to know where you're going."

Dan winced. _You can't have it both ways, Casey. You can't expect me to tell you everything and then bail on me whenever you think I even might ask for more than you feel like giving at the moment._ He wondered what was wrong with him--it had to be something wrong with him, because Casey wasn't like that. He'd held on with Lisa long past the point where any sane man would have said "You know what? You're an evil psycho bitch, and I want a divorce." He'd put up with all of Dana's weirdness, and even if they never ended up dating, they were still friends.

It was just Dan he wouldn't do that for, and Dan didn't know what made him so different from the rest of the world.

He shrugged. "I had an appointment."

"With Abby?"

"Yes, with Abby, if it matters."

Casey nodded. Then, after a few moments' silence, he said, "Is it helping? Seeing her, I mean."

"Why? Do you want a referral?"

"I just want you to be okay, Danny," he said softly, and Dan suddenly felt like a jerk.

"I know."

Another nod. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not realizing that you weren't yourself... that I shouldn't have... " Casey shrugged. "For not remembering that if you're having some kind of breakdown, you might be likely to do something you don't really want to do, and regret it later."

"Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?"

"The thing. With us, and the couch, and...."

Dan looked up to make sure the door was closed before he answered, and even then, he kept his voice down. "You think I gave you a blow job because I'm having a nervous breakdown? Maybe I really should be referring you to Abby, Casey, that makes no sense at all."

"I just. I think you weren't quite yourself, and--I realized it, later, that it wasn't really you."

Dan couldn't help but laugh at that. "It wasn't? Did the devil make me do it? Or maybe aliens were telepathically controlling my body?"

"I just meant that you're going through stuff, and... well, desperate times, right? You do things you normally wouldn't."

Dan shrugged. "Does it make a difference? I'm still not telling anyone, and I'm still willing to go along with you when you say it was just one of those things that won't happen again. So you still don't have to worry about me."

"Of course I do. I'm your friend, and I completely overlooked everything you've been going through. I do have to worry about you."

He just shook his head. "Just leave it, Casey. We're ignoring it, and that means that we should actually, you know, ignore it."

"Danny--"

Frowning at him, Dan said, "You can't do this. You can't tell me we're ignoring it, and then keep talking about it. You can't tell me you're okay with it, and then decide twelve hours later that you have 'concerns.' Now, you wanted me to ignore it, and I'm ignoring it. You need to ignore it, too."

Casey just looked at him for a while. Then he shrugged. "Yeah. You're right." He turned and walked out.

***

"Casey says I'm not myself," Dan said, fidgeting in the chair in Abby's office. "He says that's why this stuff happened in the first place. That I'm not myself, and I'd never have let it happen if I was."

"And what do you think?" Abby asked him.

"I think I hate that expression. Think about it: not myself. Who am I, then? Did I wake up one morning and suddenly I was... Tommy LaSorda? Or possibly someone more likely to have sex with Casey, because that's not a pretty image." He propped his feet up, shaking his head.

"But do you think you're yourself?"

"Of course I'm myself. I'm always myself."

"Are you yourself on television?"

Dan frowned. "Yeah. I'm myself. Only--"

"Only you've said you're only good with people if you and they are on opposite sides of a TV camera. So are you yourself when you're on television?"

Dan shrugged. "I'm myself. I just don't have to do the hit and run thing there."

Nodding, Abby said, "And with Casey?"

He frowned. "With Casey, what?"

"Do you have to do it around Casey?"

It took a while for him to be sure of his answer, but eventually he shook his head. "No. Not with Casey."

"But he knows about it."

"I guess so. We don't talk about it, but we've been friends for a long time. He's seen it often enough to have noticed."

She just looked up at him.

"What? When you give me that look, it means you're waiting for me to think of something you think ought to be obvious."

"Then what is it you think I'm waiting for you to think of?"

After a very long time, Dan sighed. "That Casey thinks I'm going to do the hit-and-run thing with him."

Nodding, Abby said, "And what do you think?"

"I think I don't know what the hell Casey's thinking any more," he admitted.

"I meant about whether or not Casey's right."

"He's not right," Dan said eventually. "But I don't know if he's going to believe me about that."

"Don't you think you should find out?"

"I think I'd rather not know." He sighed. "But I think I have to." Shaking his head, he added, "Except that I have no idea how to talk to him about something like this." After a moment, he grinned. "I _am_ better on television. Maybe I should make him a videotape."

"You know that's not the way to do it."

"Yeah, I know," Dan said. "It just may be the only way I _can_ do it."

***

"Dana wants to know if you've looked at the film from the White Sox game," Casey said from the doorway to the editing room.

Dan jumped, moving away from the screen like a kid who'd just got caught watching his dad's porn. "Uh, no. I was just getting to it."

"Is that it? I'll watch it with you."

"No, this is... something else," Dan said, taking the tape from the machine. At least he hadn't labeled it yet; if Casey saw his name on the cassette, there'd be no way Dan could keep him from watching it on the spot, and he hadn't even decided if he was going to give it to Casey or not. Maybe it was a stupid idea. Maybe Casey would think it had been a stupid idea, even if it wasn't. Maybe it'd just piss him off, which Dan seemed to be pretty good at lately without any help.

"What was it? It'd be nice if I could tell her we'd actually done some work today. At least, the 'we' that means 'you.' She's given up on the 'we' that means 'me' and is now considering a firing squad."

'It wasn't anything. Not work, I mean."

Casey grinned. "Come on, Danny, tell me all your dirty little secrets." In a conspiratorial whisper, he added, "You were watching _soccer_ , weren't you?"

Dan's fingers tightened on the cassette, just in case Casey decided to make a grab for it. "That's right, you caught me," he said, grinning up at him.

"Who was playing?"

"Huh?"

"Soccer. A game normally played by two groups of people called teams. Which teams?"

"Uh... Luxembourg?"

Casey shook his head. "You weren't watching soccer, were you."

"I don't voluntarily watch soccer."

"Except for that one time."

"Except for that one time," he agreed. "But I learned my lesson. Never again."

"So what is it?" Casey reached out for the tape, but when Dan put it behind his back, he let his hand fall to his side. A couple of months ago, Casey would have tackled him for it, but a couple of months was a long time.

He couldn't hand the tape over to Casey right now. He couldn't even _look_ at Casey right now, let alone hand him a tape that started out, _You know what, Casey, Rebecca's right. I_ am _in love with you_. He just wanted to get out of here, because of all the things he couldn't deal with in his life right now, making Casey hate him was top of the list, and it kept looking like he was well on his way to that. "It's nothing, Casey, don't worry about it!"

At that, Casey took a step backward. "Yeah. I forgot. I'm not allowed to worry about you."

"I didn't say that."

"Not today, you mean."

"What I don't need you doing," Dan said, glaring at him, "is worrying about things that don't even need to be worried about."

"Like you interviewing for jobs in Michigan?"

"Minneapolis."

"Wherever. That's not the point. The point is, that's one of the things I'm not allowed to worry about."

"Because I was never going to take the job! I was just testing the waters. I told you that. I told Natalie that. I told Dana that. I think I told the people from craft services that."

"Yeah. You told me that afterward. When I made you."

"Maybe," Dan said after a long silence, "I thought that if I told you beforehand, you'd just decide the conversation never should have happened." He shook his head. "I'm going back to the office."

***

He had to do it, he decided; things couldn't go on like this indefinitely. He had to get it over with--like ripping off a bandaid, he thought. Casey might hate him for it, but the thing was, pretending this wasn't there didn't make it go away. And so if the only way to avoid having Casey hate him was to pretend nothing had ever happened between them, and to ignore that one of the reasons it had happened in the first place was that Dan was at least a little in love with Casey, then their friendship wasn't real, not any more. And if that was true, Casey might as well just hate him.

After the broadcast, he slipped off to Editing, turning the lights out and sitting down on the couch. He'd told Natalie he thought he was coming down with something and wanted to make an early night of it. He'd just wait until everyone had gone, leave the tape for Casey, and then he really would go home. He hadn't even told that much of a lie to Natalie; he definitely wasn't feeling all that great at the moment, and staying here really wasn't going to make him feel any better.

Once he decided that the coast was probably clear, he slipped out of the editing room and down to their office. The videotape went on the desk, labeled "Luxembourg game for Casey." Casey would find it when he came in tomorrow, and he'd know there was something up--hopefully, anyway--and he'd watch it.

And it was Dan's day off tomorrow, so Casey could tell him to go to hell over the phone, and that'd make things easier, if anything could.

***

"Danny, open the door," Casey called, after the third time he'd knocked and Dan had ignored it.

Dan sighed, reluctantly taking the chain off the door and opening it.

"Do I get to come in?"

"Do you want to?"

Casey shrugged. "It beats standing around out here all evening. Especially since Dana's going to be expecting me at the eight o'clock rundown."

Dan nodded, stepping aside to let Casey into the apartment. Casey went straight to the couch, sitting down in his usual spot. Dan decided to remain standing; he thought pacing might be in order during the next few minutes. Or running. Either way, standing up was the best option. "I didn't expect you to come here," he said.

Another shrug. "You didn't answer the phone."

With a guilty half-smile, Dan said, "I, uh, turned the ringer off."

"And the machine didn't pick up."

"I turned that off, too," he admitted. "I got struck with a sudden bout of hermit-ness."

"Any special reason?"

He just looked at Casey. "Don't play dumb, Casey, okay? Just... say what you have to say and get it over with."

With a sigh, Casey said, "Right. What I have to say is--" He shook his head. "A _videotape_?"

"You saw what happens when we try to have a conversation."

"Yeah. You turn off your phone. We've been friends for years. You couldn't just talk to me?"

"When you're having 'concerns' and freaking out on me and telling me I only wanted you because I was having a nervous breakdown? To which I might add, what was _your_ excuse?"

"You did add that. It was on the tape."

"Oh, right. I forgot. It was a last-minute ad-lib."

"You _scripted_ it?"

"Of course. I'm a writer."

"That's a terrible tape, by the way. You aimed the camera all wrong; it cut the top of your head off."

Dan snorted. "My cinematography isn't the question here."

"No, I guess not." After a pause, Casey went on, "What is the question here, exactly, anyway?"

"What was your excuse?" Dan repeated.

"Ah. That." Casey drummed his fingers lightly on his knee. "That's actually an interesting question."

"Does it have an interesting answer, or is this like when Jeremy reports 'interesting' meteorological facts?"

Casey didn't say anything for a little while. Then, finally, just as Dan started to pace, he said, "I did it because I wanted to."

"And then you stopped wanting to." Dan gave him a bitter smile. "Was it my aftershave?"

"Your morning breath," Casey said, and just as Dan was about to snap at him, he realized that Casey was grinning.

"You weren't there in the morning." "Yeah, but I've seen you before. And smelled you."

Dan grinned, weakly. "If I promise to brush my teeth before you wake up, will you reconsider?"

Casey sighed. "That tape. You meant it?"

"No, Casey, I always go around making a complete jackass of mysel--" He broke off, seeing Casey's grin. "Not like that, anyway."

"So you did mean it."

Dan looked at the carpet, at the prints on the wall behind the couch, at anything but Casey. "Yeah. I meant it. I mean it," he echoed weakly. "And I know you don't want--"

"I don't want to lose Charlie. I don't want to lose the show."

"I've heard all that before, yeah. I understand."

"I don't want to lose you either, Danny."

"I'm right here."

"Yeah. I know." Casey sighed again. "And after I freaked out, once I calmed down, I realized that I don't want to lose that part, either. But then I thought about how much stress you've been under lately, and I figured, well, desperate times, yeah? So I thought the best thing I could do for you would be to leave you alone. That way, I mean."

"That's about the worst thing you could do," Dan said, quietly.

"I get that, now that I've seen that videotape."

"Which I hope you burned."

"I'll take it home with me tonight. It's buried in the bag with my gym clothes."

"And you'll burn it?"

"And I'll keep it." He looked at Dan for a long time before standing up. "Danny, I saw the tape. I know how you feel about me, and I--you're going to make me say this, aren't you?"

" _I made you a video_."

"And it wasn't even porn, so that doesn't count." Casey grinned. "Not that I want you to--okay, the idea has some appeal, but I'm not asking you to." He took a deep breath. "All right, then. I'm scared as hell about what could happen, but I love you, Danny, and if I've screwed this up by panicking earlier--"

"You haven't."

The grin Casey gave him was one of the greatest things Dan had ever seen. "Good."

Dan glanced at the clock, sighing. "You should probably get going if you don't want Dana to kill you for being late."

He nodded. "I'll come back afterward? We should probably talk. And... um. Talk more."

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." He grinned. "Especially the part in between 'talk' and 'talk more.'"

"The talking parts need to happen."

"I know. And I'll do it, or try to, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna think it's much fun."

"Okay. There's just one more thing, then."

"What?"

"This," Casey said, stepping forward to kiss him.

***

"Sixty seconds to VTR, two minutes live."

"They're up to something," Dana said. She'd left the mike on, either accidentally or intentionally. Dan's money was on intentionally.

"Up to something?" That was the sound of Natalie's bloodhound instincts kicking in.

"They're _grinning_."

"We're not up to anything," Dan said, very carefully not looking at Casey, and trying not to grin any more.

"We're simply looking forward to the opportunity to do what we do best," Casey added.

"Uh-huh. They're up to something," Dana repeated to Natalie.

"Roll VTR," Dave said.

Dan straightened the papers on the desk. "Casey's right. We enjoy what we do. Since when is that a crime?"

"Since we don't trust you," Natalie said cheerfully.

"So always," Dana said.

"You're lucky I have a show to do," Casey threatened. "Otherwise I'd make you pay for that."

"How are you going to do that?" "Trashcan basketball. After the show," Casey said.

"You're on."

Dave interjected again. "In ten..."

"Dana's going to kick your ass," Dan said.

"Have a little faith, Danny."

"I have faith. In the kicking of your ass by Dana."

"In three, two..."

Switching immediately into on-air mode, Dan said, "Good evening from New York City. I'm Dan Rydell, alongside Casey McCall...."

Which, if you asked him, was exactly as it should be.


End file.
